Don't Go
by onlyonceinforever
Summary: Spence, I don't want to go... I don't want you to go either. NOT as mushy as I just made it sound. When Spencer Reid's only friend moves away, he must learn to be on his own again. Part of the Past Life series, set after Shards. :ONESHOT:


**Disclaimer: If there was a Spencer plushie, I would own it. Multiple copies of it, actually. And that would be about all.**

**A/N: Did anyone else almost have a heart attack when Spence was sent in to interrogate that guy BY HIMSELF? I did. Really, I squealed and my dad told me to shut up. And ARG, Hotch always comes to the rescue. That guy annoys the crap out of me. I'm not quite sure why, but he does. Anyway, I was all like "OMG, SPENCER DON'T DIE!" and really close to tears and then he got his ass saved AGAIN. I love the guy, but he needs to learn to stand up for himself. And on that (rather long) note, I leave you to the story.**

_"Hey, Spencer, can you help me with this?" A teenage girl, a junior in high school, asks, looking frustrated. A math book lies open in front of her, as does a notebook full of thwarted attempts to crack an equation._

_Spencer looks up from the book he is reading and gazes at her. This scene was no different than the one that played nearly every day of their school lives. He smirks slightly before moving to sit next to her._

_"What problem?" he asks, although he can already tell based on the writings on the paper. _

_"That one," the girl points to a spot on the page, stabbing the offending problem with her index finger. _

_Spencer takes a moment to observe the equation, before taking the paper and pencil from her. _

_"Here's where you went wrong," he points to a scribbled mass of numbers around the center of the mess, "You divided by 4x when you were supposed to multiply by one third."_

_The girl stares at the book, then the paper, then him, then back to the book. _

_"Huh?"_

_Spencer sighs in mock exasperation before rolling his eyes playfully. _

_"Hey, just because you're super smart does not mean you have the right to treat the rest of us imbeciles like the morons we are!" the girl demands, only partially serious. _

_Spencer opts to refrain from comment, instead turning his attention back to problem in front of him. He begins to explain again, going step by step, so that the girl can grasp what he is saying. She stares at the book, concentrating hard on his words. Eventually, something about it all made sense and she exclaimed "Got it!" exuberantly. _

_Spencer smiles, happy that she understands._

_"Thanks, Spence! You rock!" she proclaims, hugging him. _

_For a moment, Spencer is taken aback by the display of emotion. However, he recovers relatively quickly and allows himself to be cared for. _

_"So would I be correct in assuming that you really get it and aren't just saying that so that I'll complete the rest of the assignment for you?" he asks, after the moment has passed._

_She nods excitedly. _

_"Yup! Thanks to you."_

_Spencer feels a rush of color rising to his cheeks as he turns his head away, observing something in the distance. He does not notice that he is no longer paying attention to what is going on until she speaks._

_"Spence? You still with me?"_

_Spencer shakes himself out of his reverie to respond._

_"What? Yes." There is a pause, as he searches for the right words to say. "I still can't believe you're leaving."_

_The girl's happy expression drops off her face, replaced with one of sadness._

_"I know..." she whispers. Her gaze moves to the open window. It is a bright day in early spring, the time of year when the snow is all melted and everything is just beginning to become green again. A bird chips merrily in the distance, oblivious to the demeanor of the house's inhabitants. "Spence, I don't want to go..."_

_He looks at her, the person who he has gone through so much with, who was always there when he needed her. For once, he was at a loss for words. For all his intellect, he was unable to produce the correct words for such a situation._

_"I know," he finally responds, the external production of his genius gone for once. Now, for this moment only, he was only a boy, a boy who had to deal with a very real reality. "I don't want you to go, either."_

_"Oh, Spence," she says unhappily, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "What am I going to do without you?"_

_Spencer sits down next to her. His gaze finds hers and he knows she is being entirely truthful. She really doesn't want to go, and he doesn't want her to. For the first time in his life, Spencer has something that he can't live without, and now even that is being wrenched away from him._

_"You're going to find someone else," he responds finally. Though the words kill him inside, he continues, "You're going to find someone else, and be happy."_

_The girl scoffs, tears welling in her eyes._

_"Yeah. Right."_

_"You will," Spencer insists, "You're strong. Everything will be fine, you'll see."_

_A lone tear escapes and trails down her cheek as she turns to look at him._

_"What about you?"_

_Three words. That's all it takes for Spencer's heart to break. He knows she speaks the truth, that once she is gone, he will be nothing again. He will lose his nerve, his confidence, and revert back to the way he was before. Before her. Even though she does not know to what extent the words will be true, she knows he will never be the same._

_"I'll be-"_

_"Don't tell me you'll be fine," she snaps, looking angry. "You won't be. I know that. It's okay. I don't expect you to be. But Spence... You've got to be strong. Even when I'm not here. You have to stick up for yourself and not let everyone push you around, all right?"_

_Spencer refuses to meet her gaze._

_"Spencer, did you hear me?"_

_"Yes..." he stares at the ground, unable to look at her. If she saw him, she would see the tears forming in his eyes. "I still don't want you to go..."_

_The girl gives a sad smile._

_"I know, Spence, I know."_

"Reid? Are you still with me?" Behavioral Analysis Unit member Derek Morgan asked, waving a hand in front of Dr. Spencer Reid's face.

"What? Yes."

**All right, considerably better on the length with this one. Ack, this went in a totally different direction then what I had been planning on writing... Oh well. I suppose that means I have another fic to write later! And I think I might have missed the proper characterization on this one, but I'm sure you'll all forgive me in exchange for more Spence, right? Right? RIGHT!**

One more thing - I realize this all sound mushy and romantic like, but IT'S NOT! If you've read my other CM fics, you know that they're friends and NOTHING MORE. Just felt the need to get that out of the way.

**Lily of the Shadow - Lab coats rock! Especially on Spence! Feel free to hold me to it, since I've got noooo problem torturing poor Spence day after day after day/laughs maniacally/cough/ All right, I'm good.**


End file.
